Andrew Chambers was born in Croydon, South London 45 years ago. When he was 6 weeks old Andy was put in a children\u2019s home. As the already weak tie to his mother was broken Andy didn\u2019t experience missing her. \u201cAt night, after visitors day I listened as the other children cried and yelled after their mothers, begging not to be left in the children\u2019s home. I just lay on my bed and listened to the others \u2013 I didn\u2019t cry\u201d.<\/p>\n
The need for a mother was transferred to one of the older children\u2019s home staff, but she had to care for so many children that she could not fulfill a mother\u2019s role for Andy. Later Andy learned that she was herself an orphan. Andy\u2019s real mother only visited about three times a year: usually in the summer, then at Christmas and on Andy\u2019s birthday.<\/p>\n
Children would be well dressed for visits so as to give a good impression of the children\u2019s home. Once, before his mother\u2019s visit, Andy was asked to wash and get dressed. Years later one of the staff told Andy that he had then replied \u201cI don\u2019t need any mother\u201d. \u201cI think that sometime before adolescence I had already decided not to need anyone. In many ways I found it difficult to ask for help, so I decided to be independent and do things myself. As a result my needs were not met. In school I had problems learning and difficulties maintaining concentration\u201d.<\/p>\n
Andy started to steal and got involved in petty crime, and later alcohol. His view of his own sexual identity got confused. \u201cI would sometimes be given the job to empty the rubbish bins and that would give me access to other people\u2019s rooms. In one of the rooms I found women\u2019s clothes and I tried them on: I had a feeling of calm and peace. I didn\u2019t understand this, but it became a behaviour pattern in my life\u201d. In another room Andy found pornography, which brought an element of sexual fantasy.<\/p>\n
Part of growing up in an English school meant that Andy should learn the Highway Code and pass a cycling test. The police would visit the school and for a week would teach road signs and give cycling lessons. At the end of the week a test would be organized. \u201cThree of us from the children\u2019s home sat the test and we were told that if we passed we could ride back by bicycle, otherwise we would have to walk and push the bicycles. I passed the cycling test, the other two did not. In fact I had the second best score of the entire group and I rode happily home.\u201d After reaching the children\u2019s home Andy rode happily around the local streets. After a while Andy heard a voice shouting \u201cAndrew Chambers, Andrew Chambers!\u201d The use of formal name meant trouble, and the voice sounded very angry indeed. It seems Andy had completely lost track of time and had stayed out cycling too long.
\nThe children\u2019s home staff administered corporal punishment with whatever happened to be at hand which this time was a bamboo stick. \u201cWhen I saw the worker\u00b4s face I knew I was in big trouble and I ran and ran into the corner under the stairs. She started to lash out at my legs and then seemed to totally lose control. In the end it seemed she was beating not my body, but my inner being.
\n\u201cThis experience may have planted a seed of bitterness into my heart. I started to hate not only that woman, but also to actively hate all women. My way of dealing with my anger was to hide it away. I learned to get along with women whether in the children\u2019s home, school or later in the workplace, but I still hated women in my heart\u201d.
\n\u201cAt that time my life included dressing in women\u2019s clothes, pornography, homosexuality , along with a hatred of women\u201d.<\/p>\n
Andy came to faith when he was 17. Six months later he ended a homosexual relationship, although it was painful. In church fellowship Andy felt like an outsider and didn\u2019t speak with anyone. Homosexual inclinations were just under the surface, making confession of sins difficult and causing Andy to feel different.\u00a0 Andy tried dating and after waiting a year he asked a particular girl out for coffee. The girl agreed, but after a few days called to announce that the relationship wouldn\u2019t work. She gave a long list of \u201creasons\u201d, including that Andy wasn\u2019t talkative enough. The pain this caused Andy seemed a lot worse than what his friends had shared under similar circumstances. Andy asked a two friends for prayer and while they prayed for him Andy recalled events that had happened years earlier in the children\u2019s home.
\n\u201cI saw myself again running away from the angry woman in the children\u2019s home, only now I could also see Jesus there. When I ran away from the woman, Jesus ran after me and gave me a hug. When the woman came after me and started to hit with the stick, I realized that the stick had hit Jesus\u2019 legs and not mine. I literally saw what the Bible tells, that the blows that were meant for us struck Him. He carried our pain and wounds in his own body.\u201d
\n\u201cThat experience was, I think, one of many that helped me really to give up the seed of bitterness \u2013 bitterness towards my mother and towards the \u201csurrogate mother\u201d at the children\u2019s home and towards women in general. I had to completely reject the hatred of women, admit my own needs, and ask friends to pray over me for my seemingly minor childhood experiences.\u201d<\/p>\n
In London Andy met a Finn called Sirkku and at the age of 24 got married; today Andy is the father of 3 teenage daughters. The marriage relationship has enabled Andy to learn relational skills and to give up always being a \u201cnice guy\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy wife said that I didn\u2019t know how to defend myself. Whenever we argued I would always give up and let her win. To my surprise she actually wanted me to hold my own, and to express my own opinions.\u201d
\nAfter moving to Finland Andy looked for a counsellor and finally had a few visits with a elderly woman counsellor. \u201cI never even understood\u00a0 the half of what she said, but at the end of every session she would pray for me and hug me. She would sit very close to me and something within me was awakened during that process. It seems like I was able to receive motherly love from her. Previously whenever I sat next to a woman I would feel uneasy and get goose pimples.\u201c<\/p>\n
Andy claims that the greatest healing happened when he started to see God\u2019s nature included motherhood; this had been a great void in Andy\u2019s life and he had not been able to see God as a caregiver.
\n\u201cOne woman had titled her talk \u2018The mother heart of God\u2019. This sounded to me like feminism had invaded theology, but I went to listen to her anyway. She went through a number of verses in the Bible where God presents himself as a mother.\u201d One of the places covered in the talk was from the gospel where Jesus compared himself to a mother hen.\u00a0 \u201cThat helped me to receive from the mother heart of God in my own prayer times.\u201d Over the years Andy has been strengthened in his masculinity. \u201cIt is a process though, you don\u2019t just wake up one morning and find yourself a renewed man.\u201d<\/p>\n
Andy works for the Aslan organization and is the national coordinator of it`s healing and discipleship training programme called \u2018Living Waters\u2019. Andy, a Dutchman and an English woman together form the team that leads the European Living Waters ministry.\u00a0 Andy has taught frequently in seminars relating to sexual wholeness.<\/p>\n
Andy sees growth in Christ as the main means of achieving sexual wholeness . He has noticed that people coming from homosexual or lesbian backgrounds may have many friendships, but lack deep, trusting relationships. \u201cI\u2019ve learned it is common that homosexual men have no real close friends. The main difficulties in forming personal relationships stem from what has happened earlier in our lives. The failures in personal relationships that the homosexual person experiences are often directly related to the same sex parent. In addition it is quite common to experience problems in relationships with members of the opposite sex.\u201d<\/p>\n
In Andy\u2019s opinion there is actually no difference between the sexual brokenness of heterosexual and homosexual. \u201cWhile the brokenness of both groups is the same, homosexuals may experience more pain because of how their friends treat them. Often friends may be supportive of heterosexual sins, but the homosexual is more prone to experience rejection, especially in school.<\/p>\n
Text\u00a0\u00a0Jorma Jumppanen<\/p>\n
Contact Andy: \u00a0 inheriters(at)gmail.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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